so this whole life thing
i thought i had it under control
but i guess i don't anymore
im back to the way i was
i don't know how i feel about that

i miss lauran ann beverly cole!
i miss my yelhsa!

i can't wait for summer
it's going to be here in 2 1/2 weeks!
yay.... swimming with my dorker!

well that's all for now
i think im done with xanga... facebook all the way!
love love

it been a while

so here are a few things i've learned over the past few weeks

you have to take care of yourself and look after yourself... cause that's what everyone else is doing... when it comes down to it... everyone else is going to take care of themselves and not you or anyone else... if it comes down to saving your life or someone elses... everyone would most likely save there own... that's part of our society now days... we are self-ish people... who only think of ourselves... i know you sit there thinking oh im not selfish... if you think about it you are... everyone is... it's our nature... if someone was holding you and a friend at gun point and asks you who you want to live... you know you most likely will say yourself... we all live in a good town with good schools and good people... but you know we don't know what the worst is... there are terrible places out there and so many people who would give anything to have a piece of bread... and then there are those who are suffering... due to things such as cnacer and struggle to stay alive everyday... and they just aren't older people there are youner people too... life isn't fair...that's just how things work... so remember the most important thing is to take care of yourself and your feelings.... it's taken me a long time to figure that out... all my life i've been putting my feelings aside for my friends... and then it turns around and bites me in the butt...cause i come to find they wouldn't of done the same thing for me... so now i guess you could say im finally seeing what people are really like

another thing that's taken me so long to realize is that im a person who over thinks things... freaks my self out... which then causes me to stress out... im the worst at expressing how i feel cause i don't want to hurt anyone or have anyone hate me or hurt myself... so i've learned to keep things to myself... thinking if i say something the worst will come of it... but that's not always the case... sure sometimes the worse does come... but you have to take the chance of figuring that out.... i've learned that bottling your feelings up inside just makes everything worse.... you get stressed and depressed and feel terrible... well i know it's hard to put how you feel into words... that's something im working on... but once you get it off your chest you will feel ten times better

something i'm still have problems with is trusting people... i guess that's partly because everything i've been through... everything i've seen... and my friends in liberal how they made me feel... so many people today and backstabbers... one minute they are all nice to you and then the next minute they are trach talking you behind your back... you just don't ever know who is telling you the truth, who is lieing to you, and who is playing you.... and i guess i need to work on that and put more trust in people and not put my wall up so high... it just the getting hurt fact that's holding me back... because it's happened to me so many times in so many different ways

so kristi brought a question a few minutes ago:
how is it that one person can have such a strong effect on another person?
think about it!

and guys please keep my cousin in your prayers... he's having a tuff time... stuff i don't want to go into on here... but keep him in your prayers

life is great.... that's pretty much all!!

guess it's time for an update
long breaks are the best
to bad they don't last forever
i'm ready for summer... hmmm
i get all excited just thinking about it
things i've done so far
taco bell with wes
7-11 with dani, dan, and jacob
jacob's house
made cookies with wes
lunch at Panera with dani and her brother
babysat friday 4-11.30
babysat saturday 10-1 yes at night lol
played with lauran
we at culvers
and made my facebook!
tonight is a wes and caitlin night
and tomorrow is a homework day
cause i have a buttload of english

so yea everyone is saying xanga's old... and facebook is the new thing
well i now have facebook but im keeping my xanga just not updating and such as much

well nothing else right now
i love you wesley!